lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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