my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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