in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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