Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
