So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
