I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
