The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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