I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
