So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
