I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
