Taylor Swift is so right about you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
