I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
