Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
