I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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