Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize