What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
