i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Of course I have a pirate flag
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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