i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
