This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
