Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
