How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
