I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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