this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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