u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
