She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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