he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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