Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
