angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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