I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
