3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
