Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
