im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
