I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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