i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
