ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
