So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
