Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
