idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
