I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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