I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
