Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
