Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
