Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
