she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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