Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if only i could text you this smell
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
