Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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