I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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