It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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