From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
