the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
