I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
