M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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