I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize