I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
