Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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