I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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