well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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