I think my vagina is haunted
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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