i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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