Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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