We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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