Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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