my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize