You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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