Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
