Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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